I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
