his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
whose parrot is this?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
