nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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