i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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