get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
