I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize