super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Acid is not a monday night drug
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize