So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
