There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
