I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
two words...techno handjob
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
