what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
