he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
