"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
