so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
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