i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
