I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I intend to get homeless drunk
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
