haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
