PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
where are my eyebrows?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize