Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize