I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
