her facebook's as public as her vagina
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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