she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
