He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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