so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
