You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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