Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
my poor anus
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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