is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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