i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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