What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Barsexuality is the new black.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
