This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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