hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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