the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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