I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
