i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
