We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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