I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
