no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
