end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
