i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
