There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
