one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
