so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
