what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I party with great urgency now.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize