It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Princesses don't give blow jobs
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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