just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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