haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
