my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
