I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
