You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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