your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
