My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
