Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
