I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
