I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
