I wanna bring you to show and tell
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
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