So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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