You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
