I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
