You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
