he puts the penis in happiness.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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