ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
